Is this burnout?

I purposefully held back from writing a blog post during the editing process because I hate not having anything new to talk about when I do eventually turn my attention to my blog...but wow, my last one was in April? That was four months ago! Where on earth has the time gone? How are we in August? Honestly, now that I have a moment to actually reflect on reality it's hitting me hard that soon we'll be in September and then before we know it 2020 will be over.
And I'm sure many would be happy to see it go, this year has been...well, it's been something. 

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that. It's update time. And it's another 'feelings bared' blog post, because I always feel safe being open on here compared to the other social media platforms.

I finished editing my contemporary romance! And I'm so happy! It's been a journey, it's taken many revisions, but it's now in it's final stage of editing. And when the final edit comes back to me, I guess...I guess I'll be publishing? How insane is that.

Already my brain has been whirring with ideas for my new WIP, my characters have been harassing me, teasing me with scenes and witty dialogue that have me scrambling to make note of them before they disappear BUT the minute I'm at my laptop, I can't write it.
And I think I know exactly why that is. I think I'm burnt out. My body is trying to tell me to take a proper break and not rush into things. I'm a planner and even I'm struggling to plan! How else do I know I'm burnt out? My body and brain aren't co-operating. My body is aching. I have pain that is making it hard for me to sleep, I'm shattered yet struggle to get more than 5 hours rest. Because there's stuff on my mind. The anxiety of publishing, the stress that accompanies it, self-doubt, all kinds of crazy feelings I'm certain other writers feel all the time.

Also...today, in the process of making a cup of tea, I almost put the milk in before the hot water. And that was when I realised I'm really not okay. 
Also as if I had any further doubt, I just made hot chocolate and went to put the drink in the fridge. So yeah. 

I wish I could say I have some leave booked so I can get myself together, but I don't, not for a while. Which is a little bit shit because in the eventuality that I get sick, I'll drive myself insane. So I'm hoping I DON'T get sick. Because god help me if I do.

I'm sure after proper rest (which means early nights, reduced social media time - which is never a problem for me) my body will tell me when it's ready to start working on my new project. I just tend to be impatient. But more so, it's because I want something to do, to keep myself distracted so that I don't lose my mind (I hate being idle). I always feel like I should be working on something. And even though I do have my fantasy romance sitting there and my pirates chilling in my wait room, I don't yet feel ready to jump into that big project. Not when I have a taste for contemporary romance right now. 

In the interim, I could game...or I could read. Either one of those things would be nice. We'll see. I'm trying to be kind to myself. Trying.

So yeah, this was the update basically:
- Finished manuscript
- Not feeling well
- Freaking the f out
- Rest needed

Anyway, hopefully I'll be writing a new blog post in September, I'll certainly aim for it. And hopefully *fingers and toes crossed* I don't end up making myself ill!

Catch you guys later :)

S.R